Originally published at Memoirs of a Nobody. You can comment here or there.

had one of the world’s shittiest nights. Not only have I been up an un-godly amount of time and am STILL sick…

But I spent the night caring for a dying kitten from about 7pm until she finally passed at 7am. Twelve hours of trying to make her at least comfortable, while hoping she would survive…And she didn’t even get to die peacefully, damnit! She seized at the last moment and ended up thrashing around…that’s not exactly the last image I want of her!

On top of that, mum finally agreed to surrender Kira (the puppy neither of us can control or train) to the animal shelter, so I spent half an hour trying to load a 50lb dog into our new car, while trying not to think that that was the last time I was going to see her (and I don’t even like the dog, damnit!).

I’m just…very drained and numb right now. I can’t even think or feel, let alone grieve for either animal.

I’m trying not to have a “Why me?” pity party in my head, which means trying to distract myself…which ISN’T WORKING! And I have a full disk of photos to edit…half of which contain the now late Mouse.

….can this day be over yet?

R.I.P. DoorMouse, daughter of Seth:

and goodbye, Kerradine:

Originally published at Memoirs of a Nobody. You can comment here or there.

My mother is having surgery for her cancer in early April…she’s not expected to live off the table.

We spent an hour last night trying to decide how I’m supposed to live if she dies. I then promptly went in my room and tried not to throw up.