Saitaina (saitaina) wrote,

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I'm scared...

I'm scared that my own stupidity finally got me into a mess luck can't get me out of. I'm scared that every plot, plan and scheme I've concocted will fall down around me because I've tried to balance too many things at once. I'm scared that time and luck are both running out to the point I'm about to learn a very hard lesson in a reality I'm too scared to face. I'm scared that in the end, I'm going to have to give up the only companion I have in order to get a place to live and will in fact spend the rest of my life alone, without even a cat to talk to.

I spend every waking moment fucking terrified of my next breath, because that's one more moment closer to my own reckoning and I'm too scared to even move to help myself.

I can't stop crying and I'm so tired and I just want everything to go away and it can't and I'm drowning.
Tags: depression, drama, fear


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